I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
