Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just google imaged poop.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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