shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
