I'm jealous of your bromance
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
