just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
