Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
