Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
