actually, I'm a sock model
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
