census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
