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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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