I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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