So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize