i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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