i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize