hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
