I just cut my nipple shaving
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's shark week go big or go home
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
