why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
