FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
