There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
