he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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