Plan B is the new Plan A
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The struggles of a small town man whore
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
