I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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