i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
