What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sext me about skeletons
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
