you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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