More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Blood and glitter go together right?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize