no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
