the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
