My first STD was from a foam party
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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