My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have aggressive nipples.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
