I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
