I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
