I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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