do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
