From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
