I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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