She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
