we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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