She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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