idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
