im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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