Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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