I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
