I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
