You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
