I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Boobs are out for the taking
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Shame - the story of my life.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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