Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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