So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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