I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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