thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
