maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
