Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
