You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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