Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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