I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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