He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
babies were throwing up all over the place
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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