Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
