pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
