New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
