Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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