We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
