Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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