well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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