Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
