I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize