I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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