would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
